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Breaking news

Nuclear weapons – ‘of no use …in war on Japanese knotweed’

In case any of you were wondering – given current events – the answer is yes…Japanese knotweed can withstand a direct hit from a nuclear warhead.

*Donald trump has been quoted as saying … ‘We tried the mother of all bombs on the mother of all weeds… but it had no impact’.

**Mr Kim Jong-un was quoted as saying… ‘Mother f***ing knotweed, b***ard’

 

Mike C

*possibly made up

** definitely made up