What the actual f*** is going on….

New theory.

The dull, Tory bastards, have been thinking we the ‘common’ people have been having it way too good, for way too long, so they’ve decided to fuck with us.

They don’t like us feeling like we’re equal to them, and we’ve always had a better social life – so they stop us seeing each other and shut down our pubs.

They don’t like us driving too fast – and they’re all chauffeur driven anyway, so they introduce Smart Motorways.

They don’t like us breeding, so they stop us going out and meeting each other.

They encourage us to stock up on toilet rolls because they’ve invested daddy’s money in toilet roll production.

They tell us to stay in – basically because they don’t like us.

Then, they ruin Netflix by getting Harry and Moody Meghan on there.

Football’s dead.

Grouse shooting is ok though.

Then the toffs start to reproduce quicker (see notes on Royal family /Jamie Oliver and Boris Johnson’s johnson .) thus reducing the imbalance between the numbers of common people and those who were educated at Eton.


Just saying.


Mike C


0161 723 2000