Technology is Killing Me…..

Soooo….how has my New Year been so far you ask?

Well …it could have been better…it’s left me longing for simpler times.

My accountant has started sending me everything via a ‘portal’ – a portal which requires a text confirmed code number… AND …a password…

Note: … that’s not complex enough/ must contain a capital letter/ must contain a number/ must not be part of your name/ must contain at least one of your five a day.

The portal keeps sending me messages that something new has arrived and I must act immediately – yet doesn’t tell me where the document is or to which company it refers – then when I try and download the document it decides it’s ‘unsafe’ and quarantines it.

Gone are the days when the accountant sat down with you and went through the figures and had you sign multiple copies over a coffee and a biscuit.

I’m in the process of selling one of our office buildings – which has required a ‘portal’ to be set up that requires a password ….you’ve guessed it …must contain at least one fruit and veg and a piece of moon rock. I must send £500.00 up front to the solicitor and 120 odd pages of detail about my property whilst he just presses a button on his desktop.

Gone are the days when the solicitor sat down and asked questions about the property over a coffee and a biscuit.

I’m also going for an operation on Friday – which requires a f***ing ‘portal’ to be set up (I’m not joking).

Holy shit, I was so fucking stressed by the time I’d finished with the medical portal that I may need another operation to reduce the stress caused by the portal from the first goddamn operation.

Guess what …it needed a password and a code and some blood and a urine sample ….none of which the computer was happy with.

Gone are the days when you sat down with a doctor who asked questions about your health over a coffee and a biscuit.

I think most of all I miss the biscuits.

Mike C.

Password protected.