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Insurance Bollocks

Author: Mike Clough

Date Posted: Wednesday 7th February 2024

Think to yourselves ‘What is insurance?…What’s it for…What does it do?’ I used to think insurance was for unexpected disasters that would be covered by a policy that would then pay out your costs.

I always thought insurance was a useful thing to have.

‘An arrangement by which a company undertakes to provide a guarantee of compensation for specified loss, damage or illness.’

What a load of bollocks.

Insurance is actually just people taking money off you for things that just aren’t going to happen.

If they do happen, then you’re not covered.

If they’re ever likely to happen, then you won’t be able to get covered.

If you ever transgress… along the lines perhaps of getting banned for speeding – then you are completely f***ed.

I had a policy that covered me for being off work through illness – I had a heart attack and thought whilst lying on the hospital bed – don’t worry you’re covered. Amazingly the policy had lapsed the month before my illness and the letter must have been ‘lost in the post’ …no payout.

I’ve had professional indemnity insurance since I was about 21 – so 42 years then. Have I ever made a claim – no. Am I ever likely to make a claim – no. What is the likelihood of a claim – zero.

So, 42 years of say an average premium of £10K a year …so half a million quid over a lifetime.

Car insurance for my various cars and vans over the years – say an average of £30K a year (yes I have a lot of cars and vans) ..so 1.2 million quid paid out so far.

House insurance – what a bloody joke. I’ve paid premium levels of house insurance for nearly 40 years and have I ever have a successful claim ….naah.

BUPA ….another one that’s all great till you try and make a claim – ‘Naah sorry you’re not covered’ or…. ‘You’ve only got 50p allowance for that condition…and stop scratching’.

So what we have here is a group of fat men living in the Isle of Man laughing their arses off at us paying them by direct debit every month so they can play golf and fly around in jets.

 ….let’s start a new campaign.

 ‘Insurance – just say no’

Mike C

* note – if somebody out there will insure me to drive after my driving ban then I’m willing to forgive the insurance world and recant all of the above.

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Mike Clough

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