Author: Mike Clough

Date Posted: Wednesday 12th April 2017

Last week I was due to go into the Alexandra Hospital in Cheadle for major knee surgery – we are talking complete new knee here… none of that nambi pambi ‘keyhole’ lark. They basically saw your leg off – then re-attach it with a new metal bit in the middle. Six to eight weeks’ recovery and some significant down time.

Now for any of you that know me – this is not something that I relish, as it would mean passing over the reins to the JKSL team …and not being fully involved in every decision.

Not only was I stressing about not being fully available for clients – but also the fact that on the horizon we have the annual JKSL seminar on the 19th May. Mentally working my way back I reckoned that if everything went according to plan… I could have the operation and get recovered just in time to present at this year’s event.

Just two days prior to the operation we had a breach of security at JKSL and a virus attacked our computer systems taking with it weeks and weeks of work – none of which it appears can be restored. The blame it would appear lay in the hands of one ‘Mike Clough’ who had unwittingly allowed the virus in… whilst on his remote access….

My mother (90) is getting increasingly demanding and doesn’t quite seem to get the concept of me ‘working’ – any time I get a free five minutes she seems to manage to ring with a technical query on her i-pad or a problem with her telephone. More difficult still …is not when she does ring me….but rather when she doesn’t ….and I worry about her and have to go round anyway just to put my mind at rest…

My wife has also not been well and the dog passed away….

the reason that I’m telling you all of this is because my operation didn’t take place last week due to me having high blood pressure ….

Surprise surprise.

The doctors recommended that I get a blood pressure monitor – so I ordered one from ‘Amazon Prime’ which was due to arrive one next day.

I received my text messages from Amazon saying that me delivery slot was between 11 and 12 on the Saturday and sat calmly awaiting my box of goodies.

At 11.30 I got another text from Amazon saying that they had ‘attempted to deliver the parcel but nobody was in …duuuh …. I’m in …. I’m sat here waiting???

The next text advised that they would try again tomorrow – so being the calm measured person that i am i decided to not argue and just to ensure that I didn’t miss them the following day.

On the Sunday I got a text message saying that my parcel would arrive between 1 and 2 – so this time opened the front door, opened the gate and left a note on the drive saying… ‘I’m in please just shout up’

….at 1.30 I got a text saying that they had tried to deliver and nobody was home….


I rang Amazon and eventually got to speak to an Indian call centre – ‘hello Mr. Clog you are not in …’ – I advised the lady that I was in …. not only was I in …but I had left the door open gate open etc etc

…. she said she would immediately ring the driver and get him to come back.

She then rang back a minute or so later and said… ‘he is 60 miles away and cannot come back…’

….so how the hell could he have been on my drive two minutes ago if he is now 60 miles away…????

Again….. aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh.

‘He will bring tomorrow…’

Blood pressure – jeez it’s a wonder I’m still breathing….

Mike ‘Calm’ Clough

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Mike Clough

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