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A Story for our Times ….

Author: Mike Clough

Date Posted: Wednesday 15th November 2017

Those of you that know me will know that I like cars. Those of you that know me better will know that I’m a bit particular about keeping my cars clean and immaculate – I think ‘anal’ is the word that most people would use about my approach.

Mikes car rules –

– Though shall not step on the sills of Mikes cars when getting in
– Though shall cleaneth ones shoes before entering the vehicle
– No food shall be eaten in Mike’s cars
– The volume control shall always be on an even number

…..you get the drift.

Cars will be cleaned and polished at all times. I think it’s my way of creating order in my life, when the cars are clean, all is well with the world.

With most of the cars that I’ve had one of the main niggles that I have is car mats. Car mats get dirty, car mats get soiled …and dirty car mats can make a vehicle look old and scruffy when in reality it’s just a bit of TLC that’s required to the car interior. I usually upgrade the car mats to the ‘superior’ or ‘luxury’ edition – I’ve even bought carbon fibre car mats for one particular car.

A few years ago I bought an Audi RS4 – beautiful car, quick, economic and a really versatile form of transportation. Imagine my horror when seeing the really cheap, crappy car mats that the vehicle arrived with. I contacted Audi service department and ordered some new mats thinking this would resolve the issue. Once the service department called and said that new ones were in stock I called in to pick them up – horror again – exactly the same as the cheap shite the vehicle already had???

I eventually resolved the issue by buying mats from an alternate supplier who advertised in the back of one of the car magazines.

Moving on from the RS4 I bought an RS6 – again same issues with the car mats being both cheap and nasty. I contacted the after-market supplier who advised that they could now do car mats with an RS6 logo on the mat – and colour coded to match the car. I tell you what – when these babies arrived it was like all my Christmases had arrived at once….absolute perfection ….highest rating possible on the Mike Clough qualityomitter ….

The car finally looked finished, the interior just sang of quality and luxury, I couldn’t have been happier.

So – dear reader – and we get to the point of my story. Imagine my horror when I rang to order a new set of mats – to be told …. ‘sorry mate we aren’t allowed to make these any more…’

Whaaaaat ????

I quizzed him up – what’s the problem ….? He advised me that they had been raided by Audi who had taken all their stock of mats, and all their templates – and advised them that they would be sued if they started to make them again.

This doesn’t mean that Audi will be starting producing these quality mats.

This doesn’t mean that Audi even wanted a cut of the proceeds from the sale of these mats ….

This just means that Audi didn’t want their customers to have the choice of a quality product to put in their cars…

How f**king childish is that ….?

Mike C

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Mike Clough

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