Twattle June 29, 2022

Driving home the other night, I rounded a corner and came upon a ‘twattle’ (Note, twattle is the collective word used to describe a group of cyclists).

There were about thirty of them in two groups about 30 metres apart. The rear group were being herded by a bloke positioned in the centre of the road at the back of the group.

The road to my house is about 5 miles long.

The Twattle was doing about 8 miles an hour uphill.

I waited and waited and waited and finally on a straight stretch I passed the first slow moving group of three and moved into the gap between the group. Note: I passed widely and safely.

I then waited again until an opportune moment arose to pass the second group.

Once a clear stretch of road opened up, I passed widely and safely.

All good you think?

But …no.

This morning a received a letter from Derbyshire Constabulary warning me of dangerous driving….with pictures to prove my crime taken by the dickhead who was herding the group.

For f’s sake ….

The police are taking no action as the photographs prove my positioning was both safe and within the guidelines of the highways code.

Get your car stolen …nothing.

Get broken into …nothing.

Dickhead cyclist with a grudge… and the police are all over it.


What a bloody stupid world we live in.


Mike C