My Head Hurts…. May 17, 2022

I’m sorry but the ‘world’ events are driving me nuts, or should I say ‘my mental health is suffering’.

Can anybody point me to a film that says… ‘war …what a great way to sort an argument’ ….or… ‘war – the happy years’ …

It’s hard enough running a business under normal circumstances but throw in a pandemic and then a war and it all gets a little much.

I’ve been renegotiating stuff with the bank and submitting figures and looking at year end margins and I get feedback along the lines of… ‘your margin has slipped over the last couple of years …can you explain why this has happened …’

My immediate thoughts as to how to answer the question consisted of a series of expletives and a question as to the intelligence of the questioner …but instead one trots out a serious response about delays on site and restrictions on overnight stays etc. etc.

If I even venture over a speed limit I get caught bang to rights by the wonderful boys in blue. The world is falling apart …but if Mike C goes a bit fast …everyone’s all over it. Then I’m supposed to eat humble pie and pretend I’m ever so sorry and what a bad person I am.

Seriously folks I must have been exceeding the limit for …about …a….second. It happens. I’m busy, I need to be places. Nobody got hurt, in fact nobody was anywhere near me…but it appears I shall be banned.

How clever these cameras are …pity they never catch any of the scum that actually do harm like nicking a car, or helping themselves to your catalytic converter.

On top of all this crap I’m trying to get my business back on track after Covid and costs are just going ballistic. My accounts team are suggesting that due to increased electricity bills we should be shutting the second floor of our offices turning off the lights and all huddling together for warmth.

…and don’t start me on traffic.

Is it just somebody trying to piss me off …or is every road in the country being dug up?

I took my mother to hospital the other day and it took me 1.5 hours to do what is normally a 20 minute drive. On arrival at the hospital there was nowhere to park so I had to drop mum (94) and go find a parking spot then run back to check she hasn’t wandered off. Five hours of administrative cock ups later …and we were finally done – when I got to my car – somebody had bashed the side door and I had a parking ticket.

It seemeth to me that we are being hit from every side by extra costs …whilst being expected to run our businesses on a shoe string.


Somebody just shoot me*.

Mike C


* no …not you Mr Putin.

Kung Fu May 4, 2022

Did you ever used to watch the tv programme ‘Kung-fu’ featuring the actor, David Carradine? If you didn’t ….then you probably need to stop reading this as it won’t make much sense.

I have increasingly found myself comparing myself to Master Po…(see… I’ve just lost 98% of my readers).

For those of you still with me, Master Po was the ancient sensei who guided the young Kwai Chang Caine through his early trials as a Kung-fu trainee. Master Po was blind and had white hair with a long ponytail, he wore white robes and always walked with an air of quiet dignity. He was also a master at Kung-fu and often kicked ass when provoked.

Young Kwai often got himself into the proverbial shite and ended up going to Master Po for guidance. The guidance was often a bit bonkers along the lines of … ‘Do not provoke dragon when he is breathing fire…’ or… ‘Little flower can produce much venom if trodden on..’ but the young trainee gradually worked out what the old guy was on about and then kicked somebody else’s ass.

The programme was a huge influence on me and even now when I go for a pee in the middle of the night I imagine I’m Kwai Chang walking on rice paper trying not to make a sound.

Stick with me – I’ll get to the point.

My team are all younger than me. This doesn’t mean I’m ageist – it just means I’m old. So, I often find myself telling boring tales of my experience with various jobs that I’ve won or lost or cocked up …

Today one of the team came to me upset that he’d lost a project – he told me we had lost out to one of our competitors.

He then showed me the e-mail from the client.

‘…the works were let to another contractor…as they were not concerned re. the status of the material to be removed, hence the costs were significantly less than your quote.’

Our guy then asked whether we should be… ‘bending the rules’… to win projects as ‘being honest and professional’ ….was losing us work.

I slipped into Master Po mode.

‘When the dragon has made a mess in his cave, should you tell him it smells of flowers … ’

If anybody has any idea what I’m talking about please send answers on a post card to:

Mike’s lost the plot.

Itadori House
Melton Street
M26 4BR


Mike C.