Diet February 17, 2021

My wife has suggested that lockdown has not done my figure any good. Elasticated waistline pants and tracksuit bottoms have been hiding an expanding girth of Homer Simpson like proportions.

I admit, I do have some weaknesses.

Biscuits

Cheese

Butter

Cake

Wine

Bacon

Sausages

Beer

Chocolate

Cheese

Yes, I put cheese in twice – as I normally put cheese in twice whenever I get the opportunity.

Mrs. Clough has suggested that I cut out all of these things and eat more vegetables.

My argument in return was that because she already liked vegetables, then eating more vegetables was actually making her dieting easier than mine – because I’m not a great broccoli and kale fan.

I suggested that if I have to eat more vegetables then to make it even – she should eat more red meat and cheese and beer – just to make it balance.

She hit me.

Just saying.

 

Mike C

60 February 10, 2021

I can remember my dad being sixty.

I can remember thinking, bloody hell that’s old. I can remember thinking he looks old. I can remember thinking, I hope I die before I get that old.

And yet – here I am ….at sixty.

This should be considered a miracle mainly because:

1.I drink too much.

2.I eat too much.

3.I drive way too fast …and

4.I’m a complete stress head.

Note: drinking too much and driving too fast are not combined.

So …it is with certain element of surprise that I find myself writing this blog – not from beyond the grave…but from my cottage in the Peak District.

I can also confirm that I look like my dad did at sixty, as in …I look old.

I look sixty, I feel sixty …so it’s about time I started acting like sixty.

Unfortunately, it’s unlikely to happen any time soon.

I still retain my childish enthusiasm for cars with big engines and noisy exhausts.

I still tweak and modify every car I own so that they maximise every ounce of power available.

I still wake up every day like it’s my last day on earth and try and get as much out of it as I can.

I still read as much as I can on a huge range of topics from new authors to classics.

I still listen to people – whether they be older or younger – and if they have something to say or something to recommend – I will try anything once.

I’m open to new challenges.

I do 10,000 steps a day.

I have two great daughters.

I have a lovely wife.

I have a dog.

I cook.

I smell nice (so I’m told by my wife)

 

So….maybe sixty is the new 50 or 40 or whatever …. either way it’s just a number.

 

Here’s to the next 40 or so continuing in the same vein.

 

Mike C

 

NB. no flowers – please send money to the Mike Clough Benevolent Fund for saving loose women.

Vaccines = do not read if easily offended February 3, 2021

Just checking the list for whose been vaccinated –

My mum – tick.

Over 90’s – tick.

Over 80’s – tick.

Homeless people – tick.

Convicted killers/rapists/terrorists – tick.

Pru Leith – tick.

The Royal Family and anyone they know – tick with knobs on.

Boris and all his children – tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick.

Members of Parliament – tickety boo.

 

…. any group missing from this list.

Sorry hang on …I’ve been busy ….

I’ve been busy… busy paying my VAT… busy paying my Corporation Tax….busy keeping up with my PAYE.

Maybe, just maybe somebody should prioritise those that are actually funding all this expenditure?

Just saying.

  

Mike C