Eat Japanese Knotweed….it’s good for you December 23, 2019

In the latest detailed reports produced by experts in a field it has been proven beyond all doubt that eating Japanese knotweed will not only reduce stress but also save you money….

If you have knotweed on your boundary or within your property ownership – don’t call expensive remediation firms…. just call your friends and have a party.

Tell them to bring chilli sauce, salt and pepper and a six pack.

The benefits of simply ‘tucking in’ to Japanese knotweed cannot be underestimated. Initial clearance of the tasty above ground growth will get the blood flowing. The work required to dig the root and rhizome out will be great exercise.

All this combined with the social benefits of working with a group of friends cannot be ignored.

These days of internet dating plus the lack of interconnection with your fellow human beings – has led to us all becoming introverted and a loss of connection to our fellow companions on planet earth.

Knotweed parties are the answer.

Fire up the barbecue.

Get out the crisps and snacks and simply tuck in.

It tastes bloody awful…..but just think of the money you’ve saved and the fact you’re benefitting the planet along the way ….and the violent nausea the feast will induce – can be ignored.

Note: you cannot just snack on Japanese knotweed – this is the ultimate ‘all you can eat’ buffet.

This mean nobody leaves the table unto everything has been eaten.


If you leave one morsel behind your knotweed party will have been in vain and you’ll have to do it all over again in a month or so.

However, if this becomes a socially acceptable ‘party’ movement – maybe leaving a little behind will ensure a regular supply of party grub for all.

Have a great Christmas and an absolutely brilliant New Year.

Much love from the Japanese Knotweed Solutions team.


Mike C


NB: for those of you with no sense of humour – this is a JOKE.

Getting things done… December 18, 2019

It is my experience that getting something done requires one person who has the ability to make a decision.

Once you start involving more people there’s no chance of getting anything done.

The original idea gets watered down and the initial quality goes out of the window.

I’ve seen so many concept cars that look stunning. But by the time they’ve been through health and safety and had a few budget constraints put into the design process they look crap. Then they build them and sell them to us as ‘high end’ design.

Marketing – when it starts out in the creative process it looks great – but by the time you’ve removed all the offensive bits and pieces – the concept is bland and dull.

Films nowadays – again I’m betting the initial pitch was great – but remove the violence, the fast cars and the odd bit of naked flesh ….and you’re left with bland rubbish that’s all been seen before.

Committees and Trade bodies.

He wants this / she wants that / this focus group wants this / the insurers want that / the members don’t agree…. ffs ….12 months later you’re still having the same conversation about the same thing ….and nothing changes.

So – don’t even start me on the election.

I don’t believe any of the things they say and I don’t believe anything they promise.

I’m thinking we need a dictatorship ?

With me in charge.

Mike C

Watchmen December 11, 2019

‘The doomsday clock is at a minute to midnight.

The world is oblivious to the danger.’

This may sound like the premise of a new tv boxset but it’s actually a quote for me referring to the issues with invasive plants in the UK.

Currently there are two major problems within the invasive weed industry.

We have a supposed ‘study’ from a bunch of half assed ‘experts’ from Leeds that have suggested that Japanese knotweed is no worse than ‘other plant species.’

We also have the Environment Agency conducting a ‘review’ of the legislative process involving the impact of invasive plants.

Put these two in separate boxes and the industry could probably knock them out of the park – but put them together and people are beginning to question the benefits of the entire industry. The study has raised concerns that residential property owners are being put under undue stress by the threat of damage by Japanese knotweed to both property and its potential to prevent the sale at some later stage.

What the industry requires is somebody to stand up and be counted.

When I say somebody – I mean somebody in authority.

Somebody with some credibility and somebody with a pair of balls.

Years ago I was told by a high ranking person in the Environment Agency that when Japanese knotweed first raised its head in the UK various concerned staff within the agency flagged up the problem.

They were told that this was… ‘not a priority’… and they should focus their attention on flood prevention.

Now at this time ….Japanese knotweed ….could ….have ….been ….eradicated.

Eradicated – cleared and removed from our shores – simply because the infestations were only contained in certain key areas.

However because these infestations were ignored they rapidly spread. So rapidly did they spread that they are now out of control and impossible to eradicate. The infestations are so prevalent that when new legislation to prescribe against specific plants was introduced – Japanese knotweed wasn’t even on the list because it was felt it would be too onerous on land owners to insist that they manage the problem.

Because Japanese knotweed became such a problem over such a short period of time – legislation was introduced via the ‘Wildlife and Countryside Act’- this legislative document began the process of opening the eyes of land owners and giving power to the EA to enforce management of the plant.

The follow up introduction of the ‘Code of Practice for Managing and Controlling Japanese knotweed’ gave a series of prescribed methodology for dealing with the invasive monster and an industry was born.

So why oh why are we questioning the validity of invasive species management?

What the industry needs is clear legislation.

Clear fines.

Clear black and white court cases.

Clear education as to who should be allowed to deal with removal of invasive plants.

…and a clearly advertised code recognised as the definitive guide to controlling invasive species within our environment.

The Environment Agency have withdrawn their code of practice and the two trade bodies INNSA and the PCA each provide their own versions of the document. This in itself is a little confusing and doesn’t help when trying to convince customers of the validity of one code over the other. Thus, we are already introducing some doubt into the mind of the landowner.

When then questioned as to whether anybody has ever been prosecuted for not following the ‘code’ – one has to reply… ‘no this has never happened’ ……

When you then introduce the Leeds study and the EA study – it won’t be too long before less scrupulous developers just go back to ignoring the problem and moving contaminated waste around the country destroying all the good works that have been done to date.

If they ever end up on court and say as their defence…. ‘I was confused as to whether there was a problem or not …?’ –

I’m thinking a lot of judges would just say ‘well… I’m not surprised…. not guilty ….’

‘The environmental doomsday clock hit midnight and the indigenous species left the country knowing that their livelihood was under threat with no defence available…’

Mike C

Christmas is cancelled. December 4, 2019

Surely from an environmental point of view Christmas should just be cancelled?

I’m surprised nobody has suggested it …

Just think –

All those extra lights
Trees getting felled then thrown away
Holly bushes getting savaged and having all their berries removed.
Mistletoe getting ripped out
Food waste
Excess alcohol
Wasteful gifts of useless tat
Wrapping paper that can’t be recycled

Enjoy whilst you can folks …. somebodies already planning to cancel your fun.

Mike C