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No sex please….

The doctor talked about various issues with the drugs I was taking and talked about the possible side effects – including erectile dysfunction, gangrene and eventual death. It’s difficult not to let this all get you a little depressed but my ears did eventually prick up when he said …. ‘I suppose you would like to know when its ok to start having sex again?’

This was something that did interest me – particularly as I wasn’t getting any before I had the heart attack – I was particularly interested in how the onset of coronary disease was going to improve my chances of getting some.

I looked across at my stony-faced wife with the look of an injured puppy hoping to get some glimmer of hope ….?? My wife was shaking her head – ‘…it’s not as easy as that doctor there are other issues that my husband needs to resolve before he gets any funny ideas…’ … ‘just because he’s had a heart attack doesn’t mean his slates been wiped clean…’

So…. shot down in flames before I’d even suggested the nurses uniform.

It is interesting as to what you can and cannot do.

Walking is good, running bad. Painting a wall is ok but painting the ceiling could cause me to faint (luckily).

I’m ok to go swimming ….but apparently don’t try holding your breath for too long as it might just turn into …death.

Sitting down for too long is bad, but getting up too quickly is also bad…

Brazil nuts are apparently good for reducing cholesterol but only if you eat 4 a day…any more than 4 a day ….and you’re just going to get fatter.

Fish is good …but it must be oily fish and only twice a week. Any more than twice a week and you will grow gills and start behaving in a very fishy manner.

I am in what’s called ‘heart rehab’….I had to stand up in the group and introduce myself …. ‘my name is Mike Clough and I had a heart attack’. I’m open minded and open to improving my chances of survival.

Mike C