I have a growing suspicion that earth is fucked.
What you need to realise is that we are all being bled dry so that ELON MUSK can then bugger off to Mars with all his billionaire buddies and a shit load of hot models and everyone on earth can go to hell as far as they are concerned.
This is creeping up on us as follows.
1. Shit internet – this is because all the rich folk are using it.
2. Brexit – this is just so we are occupied whilst Elon builds his spaceships.
3. Internet shopping – this is simply to block the roads with vans so when we realise that Elon is fucking off with all the money we can’t chase him coz the roads are blocked.
4. Driverless cars – see point 3
5. Crap on TV – this is just to make sure all our brains are turned to soup.
6. The ‘MeToo’ movement – this is just so nobody does anything about anything because they don’t want to be accused of anything.
7. Sexual intercourse – this has been bad mouthed to the extent that nobodies doing it anymore thus life ceases – (Note: unless you are a billionaire with a hot model girl/boyfriend when its ok to produce one asexual offspring)
8. My wife – she has the power of hindsight – so whatever happens she will be saying …’I told you that would happen…’
15. Fill in your own