I recently visited my ageing mother (91) as I do every other day… and she greeted me by saying … ‘you’re looking fat’… ‘and I don’t like that shirt…’
Now in my head I wanted to say…. ‘well you look like an old prune and you’ve shrunk by a foot since I last saw you’…but I didn’t, I held my tongue and instead said … ‘thank you for that mother…what can I do for you today?’
Later I asked her whether she thought it was polite to greet me with and insult about my weight – she replied – ‘…I’m 91, I’ve not got time to pussy foot around, if I think something I’m going to just say it’.
Some years ago, my father had a stroke which made him very poorly and took some time for him to recover. During the period of convalescence his ‘filter’ in his brain seemed to have stopped functioning – if he thought something he just said it …. with often hilarious results.
I remember most a night out in Manchester where a very attractive young waitress was serving us our food – dad leaned over and said … ‘you’re a very attractive young lady’ …she responded with a beaming smile and said … ‘you’re not so bad yourself’ …
Now if I had said the same thing she would probably have slapped me and had me thrown out. Instead she spent the rest of the evening flirting with my 80-year-old dad.
It leaves me wondering about what would happen if we all just said what we REALLY thought…?
Can you imagine the chaos…?
Does my bum look big in this?
Do you like my hair?
How was my driving?
Was that ok for you?
Should I have a breast enhancement?
Is it big enough?