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Eat Japanese Knotweed….it’s good for you

In the latest detailed reports produced by experts in a field it has been proven beyond all doubt that eating Japanese knotweed will not only reduce stress but also save you money….

If you have knotweed on your boundary or within your property ownership – don’t call expensive remediation firms…. just call your friends and have a party.

Tell them to bring chilli sauce, salt and pepper and a six pack.

The benefits of simply ‘tucking in’ to Japanese knotweed cannot be underestimated. Initial clearance of the tasty above ground growth will get the blood flowing. The work required to dig the root and rhizome out will be great exercise.

All this combined with the social benefits of working with a group of friends cannot be ignored.

These days of internet dating plus the lack of interconnection with your fellow human beings – has led to us all becoming introverted and a loss of connection to our fellow companions on planet earth.

Knotweed parties are the answer.

Fire up the barbecue.

Get out the crisps and snacks and simply tuck in.

It tastes bloody awful…..but just think of the money you’ve saved and the fact you’re benefitting the planet along the way ….and the violent nausea the feast will induce – can be ignored.

Note: you cannot just snack on Japanese knotweed – this is the ultimate ‘all you can eat’ buffet.

This mean nobody leaves the table unto everything has been eaten.

Everything.

If you leave one morsel behind your knotweed party will have been in vain and you’ll have to do it all over again in a month or so.

However, if this becomes a socially acceptable ‘party’ movement – maybe leaving a little behind will ensure a regular supply of party grub for all.

Have a great Christmas and an absolutely brilliant New Year.

Much love from the Japanese Knotweed Solutions team.

 

Mike C

 

NB: for those of you with no sense of humour – this is a JOKE.