Reasons the World Failed – Part One April 19, 2023

I can’t remember exactly when all this started, but I can vaguely remember having an inkling that something was going wrong with the world.

For me, it started with shopping. I used to enjoy going into Manchester and having a wander around the various stores picking out a shirt or a new pair of jeans.

Then I began to notice that they never had my size, they would have to ‘order it in’.

Then I noticed that the stores seemed to stop having anything that I wanted.

Then I noticed that the stores were closing down.

Then I noticed that everything I wanted was now ‘online’.

Hmmmm… I don’t really like shopping online.

Restaurants were next.

Top end restaurants that were Michelin starred were offering what they called ‘taster menus’ which at first sounded posh and exciting. This was new and could be talked about with friends – each one trying to outdo the other by the number of courses that they had eaten.

Then lower tier restaurants started to do the same thing and suddenly everyone was doing it.

To me a ‘taster menu’ should allow you to try everything in a mini size – then you should be able to order a full size version of whatever was your favourite.

What taster menus are actually about is reducing waste by dictating what your customers will eat.

Let’s be honest, in most cases when you leave these fancy places giving you a piece of beef that is at most one inch square….you go for a kebab on the way home… because you’re starving.

Hmmmm …I don’t really like taster menus.


Now anybody that reads this blog will know I’m a petrol head. Always have been, always will be.

However, of late I’ve been asked to buy my next car ‘online’. I had to go through a ridiculous process called ‘due diligence’ whereby I had to prove I was who I said I was. I had to upload my driving licence, then take a selfie – and low my existence would be proved.

Unfortunately, the computer said ‘no match’ ….26 times.

This from a car company that I had already purchased a car from.

This from a company that was happily already taking monthly payments from me.

So, you know what …. I thought ‘f**k it’ … I really cannot be bothered dealing with this company – I’m going to go to a car company with people that actually meet you and shake your hand and show you a real vehicle …

As you may have guessed I’m struggling to find such a company – so I’m sticking with the cars I’ve got.

These are just examples. But I feel that all have something in common. It’s to do with money. It’s about reducing costs at the expense of customer satisfaction.

It’s about somebody sat at a desk crunching numbers going… ‘If we do away with the store/choice of food/car show room …we will save millions…let’s do it.

So far nobody has asked me what I think.

Maybe it’s just me?

Maybe I’m a dinosaur?


Mike C

Work in Progress April 5, 2023

As we approach our 35th wedding anniversary (and some 40 years of being a couple) my wife still considers me a ‘work in progress’.

She considers that she has trained me in matters pertaining to:

Dish washer etiquette – correct loading and spacing.

Cooking – by the time the meal is prepared all utensils used will have been washed and put away.

Bathroom skills – no drops of water shall be found on the sink.

Driving – 30 mph is the limit no matter what road you’re on.

Financial matters – what I earn is ours, what she earns is hers.

All things diet related – just say no to everything nice.

Alcohol – just say no to everything.

Dressing – grow up.

Dog training – stop treating the dog like your best mate.

Sexual behaviour – just say no to anything nice.

Child rearing  – leave it to my wife.

Exercise – everyday everywhere all at once.

Etc. etc.


What have I learned from the last 40 years….?

Well …on my wedding day my father-in-law said to me… ‘Get out now lad …whilst you still can’.

Now I’m not saying he was right …but there was a lot of truth on what he said. My wife is very much like my mother-in-law, quite petite in stature but bloody hell don’t ever cross either of them. I always say about my wife – ‘she’s 5’1” but she’s the only thing I’m scared of’…

I would go so far as to say that our recent ‘near divorce’ was only averted when she realised that any new man in her life would require the same sort of management input ….and worse still …some other woman might benefit from her part trained ex-husband.

So, here’s to the next 35 years and hoping that she never starts reading this blog.


Love you babe.


Mike C