I have …THE CURE October 28, 2020

I also have X Ray Specs, the Sex Pistols and The Clash.

This is because music is the answer to everything.

Anybody feeling depressed at the moment should make themselves a playlist of their favourite pieces of music and just have it playing 24/7.

My current list:

Talk Talk

Early Radiohead

The Black Keys

Blink 182





…..with a selection of Faithless tracks thrown in, to keep the party moving.

Note; currently I have the Apple TV playing all my favourites in the front room, whilst as you meander into the work space there is a different more …. ‘work conducive’ … selection from Massive Attack and Everything but the Girl.

I also find turning the sound down whilst Boris Johnson is speaking works a treat ….particularly if you use a backing track of AC/DC playing Highway to Hell.

What’s on your playlist?

Mike C ????????

Who’s Right? October 21, 2020

If somebody said to you when your car was being serviced – ‘the cost is £75.00 ….but…your brakes could fail, you need to replace the pads and discs at a cost of £640.00 plus Vat …’ would you rather they told you …or would you rather they gave you the keys and said …’£75.00 please’ …

If somebody said to you, when your site needs clearing of Japanese knotweed – ‘the cost is £7500.00 – but the site next door is rammed with Knotweed and you need a root barrier at a cost of £15,000.00’ ….would you rather they told you, or just charged you £7500.00 and waited for the shit to hit the fan.

We are constantly battling against competitors who are cheap, half assed amateurs buying projects on the back of a total lack of understanding of how invasive species grow and spread.

We’ve just lost a project because we advised a client that there was a real risk of the canalside collapsing if the Japanese knotweed was excavated to the full depth required. They have an alternate price from a ‘competitor’ who has said they will take ‘full responsibility’ if the canal is breached …

1 – They will not be excavating to the full depth required.

2 – They would not have a hope in hell of covering the costs of a breach on their insurance policy.

3 – They have no intention of removing all of the Knotweed – but will simply remove surface growth, then stand there and look pleased with themselves.

4 – By the time the plant shows regrowth, they will no longer be trading and will have moved on to plastic facias on buildings or opened a sun tanning salon.

We’ve lost another project recently, to somebody who recommended incineration of Knotweed on the site. They have advised the client that the arisings from the process can be re-used as topsoil on site.

1 – One detail they forgot to mention, is that the arisings will be inert and incapable of growing any plants or grasses.

2 – The site will remain a barren wasteland for many years.

3 – They also haven’t mentioned D7 exceptions or local bi-laws prohibiting burning ….

We recently won a project where we accurately advised a client that 16 loads of waste would be required for removal. A competitor had advised that 220 (yes two hundred and twenty) wagons of waste would need to go off site.

Who the hell is right here folks – am I missing something?

I know, I know – in the end, giving the correct advice will always be the right way to run a business …

However, I can’t help thinking maybe my retirement plans would be in place a little quicker if I told a few ‘pork pies’ ….




Honest Mike C

What the actual f*** is going on…. October 14, 2020

New theory.

The dull, Tory bastards, have been thinking we the ‘common’ people have been having it way too good, for way too long, so they’ve decided to fuck with us.

They don’t like us feeling like we’re equal to them, and we’ve always had a better social life – so they stop us seeing each other and shut down our pubs.

They don’t like us driving too fast – and they’re all chauffeur driven anyway, so they introduce Smart Motorways.

They don’t like us breeding, so they stop us going out and meeting each other.

They encourage us to stock up on toilet rolls because they’ve invested daddy’s money in toilet roll production.

They tell us to stay in – basically because they don’t like us.

Then, they ruin Netflix by getting Harry and Moody Meghan on there.

Football’s dead.

Grouse shooting is ok though.

Then the toffs start to reproduce quicker (see notes on Royal family /Jamie Oliver and Boris Johnson’s johnson .) thus reducing the imbalance between the numbers of common people and those who were educated at Eton.


Just saying.


Mike C

We’re not ready yet …. October 7, 2020

The end of my tether is rapidly approaching.

What will happen when my tether end has been reached… I’ve no idea…maybe some apocalyptic explosion of my head …. or maybe just a quiet slip into some sort of sanitarium?

What am I rambling about this week dear reader – well – this week it’s the customers that push you and push you for a start date, and then change their minds.

They pile the pressure on for you to cancel everything you’ve got planned….so you can do their job …. then …. on the day before the start date they e-mail and say …

‘…. the sites not ready …’

‘…we don’t own the land yet….’

‘…the funding isn’t in place…’

Now I’m a calm, peaceful sort of guy. I very rarely get wound up about anything …and I never hold a grudge.

But …in these cases …keeping a smile on my face is not an easy thing to do.

What …the absolute fuck…do you expect me to do with my teams when at 24 hours’ notice, you tell me we can’t start?

What about the machinery, the hotel costs, the deliveries to site etc. etc.

What about the next client, that wanted me to start on the day you now want me to start?

I’m afraid this is nothing to do with COVID …this is to do with YOU being selfish and just a little disorganised Mr. Client …. I’m sorry but you need to get your act together.

Now I know that criticising clients is not a good idea…but none of them read this… so it’s not a big problem….

….and most of my clients are wonderful people, that get their timings right and allow me to start on an agreed date.

Please don’t just blame everything on COVID…. it’s just takes common courtesy and a little planning – that’s all we need – then maybe we can all start on time, finish on time, get our application in on time, and get paid on time ????…

…and then my tether end will never be reached.


Mike C