Zoom’ish May 27, 2020

I hate Zoom meetings.

There, I’ve said it.

May the gods of social distancing strike me down but I just can’t seem to get on with it.

I think it’s to do with me talking too much – not allowing others to speak – then at the end of the meeting …I just think …I didn’t listen to what anybody else was saying.

To me it also seems as if you either get everybody talking at once or embarrassing silences.

I think also, apart from being old, I’m also a kind of hands on type of guy. I like to look people in the eye, I like to hold eye contact and I like to ‘read’ their body language.

You just cannot do that on a computer screen.

It makes me uneasy that I’m having some of the team working from home, when I know that not everybody is suited to lone working.

Sorry, but it’s just a fact….not everybody has the focus and work ethic to just get stuck in to working…. when there are so many distractions at home.

Some people just need their work colleagues to both motivate and inspire them.

I know in coming weeks we will be told that the roads are quieter and the environment is cleaner. We will be told that the new working from home culture is a good thing and that COVID has not been all bad ….and … ‘has had some ‘benefits’.

What I’m foreseeing is a drop in productivity, a drop in moral and an increase mental health issues…..

One of the hidden problems with working from home is that you just never get away from it.

The computer is always there in the corner of the room whispering to you …. ‘have you got mail’… ‘has that client got back to you…’ … ‘is my boss checking on me again…’

Like I say, some will cope….others will be begging to get back into the office.


Mike C

Heroes….. May 20, 2020

Soooo…bit of controversy.

Yes, I’m expecting a few people to kick off – like they do every week.

The police.

Let me paint a picture, let me show you a glimpse of the behaviour of the wonderful boys in blue.

I was out at the weekend visiting my 92 year old mother. I drove from my house near Bakewell, over Snake Pass and into Glossop. I noticed that the area around Derwent was busy, it has been closed to the public due to the pandemic and has recently been opened.

There were a lot of cars.

A lot of families going out for their first bit of exercise in weeks.

Lots of parents with young kids.

On driving back to my house, I noticed that every one of these cars had been given a parking ticket.


Thoughts please anyone?


 Mike C

And so, this is Covid… May 13, 2020

And so, this is Covid and what have we learnt?

Well ….my current feeling is that I’m in the upper sixth form at school and some kid in his first year has been given the power to control everything I do.

He’s cancelled the disco on a Friday and he’s cancelled the school trip to France – both of these events were my prime chance of getting snogged by the prettiest girl in school – and so I’m well pissed off.

On top of this he’s also told me that I’ve got to stay in – whilst he’s off gadding about having lots of children with different women – and hiding away in some country retreat.

I feel that this inexperienced kid has no idea of what he’s doing and is being guided by a flock of experts who have no concept of what ‘real’ people do in the ‘real’ world.

I cannot help but wonder how this youngster has gained all this power so quickly and without anybody questioning his skill set?

Every once in a while the headmaster (the Queen) pops her head up and makes a few noises – whilst holed up in a fortress of impregnability to any virus that’s out there …and pretending she’s ‘one of us’ ….yeah right.

Her staff get burned alive every night just to make sure there’s no cross contamination – and Andrew gets to recruit new servants from the address book left to him by his buddy Jeffrey Epstein.

Coming away from the school analogy – I hear that one of his ‘experts’ is the same guy that guided government decisions regarding the last foot and mouth outbreak.

During that period tens of thousands of cattle and sheep were destroyed unnecessarily. Millions were paid out in compensation to farmers whilst the ‘ordinary’ man was left unable to access countryside to walk and relax and work was stopped on any site vaguely near any open countryside.

With hindsight these actions are now considered to be wholly inappropriate and hugely costly to the economy.

Yet the same guy is asked the same questions and gives the same answers….

I really cannot wait till we start getting the real stories coming through about what’s going on?

Who’s made a fortune from selling crap to the NHS?

Whose businesses have flourished, who’s have failed

Who’s invested in PPE just at the right time?

Who sold their travel company/hotel/restaurant company just before ye olde shit hit the fan?

My bet is this was all started by Jeff Bezos –

He started it.

He delivered it to us in our cardboard packaging.

He will deliver the testing kits.

He will collect the testing kits.

He will infect more of us.

Him and that Elon Musk are both from Mars sent to wipe us all out.


You heard it here first folks.


Mike C

The Invasion of Giant Hogweed May 12, 2020

Named Britain’s ‘most dangerous plant’, Giant hogweed is invading yet again. Read the latest article in The Times


Positive Stuff May 6, 2020

Well, my ranting about the government and complaining about everything hasn’t made any difference to anything.

….soooo ….I’m going to try and focus on the positive.

Wildlife and nature.

All is good in the land of plants and animals.

Around where I live, you can see how the world would be – if humans just disappeared off the face of the earth.

The deer are wandering closer and closer to the house.

The buzzards are getting bolder and are now landing in the trees close to the cottage – whilst eyeing up my dog as a light snack.

The wildflowers on the path edges are thriving as nobody is trampling on them or picking them (illegally)…

The hares have been making it across the roads safely and can be seen far more than would normally be the case.

I’ve seen slow worms for the first time in years.

The fish in the river seem more confident and are happily rising to take flies knowing that nobody will be fooling them with a rod and line.

All of this convinces me that nature will not only thrive in our absence – I don’t think it would even miss us for a second.

It might also be noted that the alien species for which I am employed to eradicate by customers throughout the UK – will not give a flying f**k about our health problems.

These are the opportune times to get on top of eradicating these species – but most people have decided that cutting their budgets and staying safe has meant that sites are going without treatment and alien species are thriving.

Just remember folks this situation will not last forever – whilst your Knotweed problems might do – if you ignore treating them this season.

Look out for nature whilst in your one-hour daily exercise – it’s there if you look closely.


Mike C