Cars. May 1, 2019

Many of you will be aware that I am a bit of a child when it comes to cars.

I was brought up in the era of Rover and Austin Allegros with my dad developing an addiction to Vauxhall Astras that never failed to disappoint me when he arrived home in his latest model (one bought every three years no matter what the mileage was).

I remember many a journey spent ‘car spotting’ from the rear window (no seat belts) looking out for the occasional TR7 or maybe a Jaguar.

I never fully understood my dad’s passion for the Vauxhall Astra, but looking back i think it was just a practical car that did everything he wanted. Four doors, reasonable boot space, economical and it just looked like a family car should look. Of course, I wanted him to get something more glamorous. Friends dads had big V8 Rovers or maybe an Austin Princess – one even had a Triumph Stag…

Maybe my car obsession came from reading Ian Fleming novels and wanting to be James Bond for most of my teenage life?

I have been lucky enough to fulfill most of my fantasies about car ownership –

MG Midget
Fiat Panda
Fiat Panda 4×4 (numerous and still own one)
Fiat Uno
Vauxhall Astra (!)
SAAB 900
SAAB 900 turbo
SAAB 900 turbo ‘S’
SAAB 900 turbo ‘S’ Convertible
Audi Quattro (numerous)
Range Rover Vogue (numerous)
Land Rover V8 (numerous)
TVR Chimaera
Porsche 911 Carrera 4
Porsche 911 Turbo
Porsche 911 Turbo ‘S’
Porsche Cayenne Turbo ‘S’
Tech Art Magnum
Porsche Panamera ‘GTS’
Porsche Cayman ‘S’
Audi RS4
Audi RS6
Aston Martin Vantage V12
Aston martin DB9
Aston Martin Vanquish
Audi RS6 ‘Litchfield’ (current)
Lamborghini Hurracan
Lamborghini Aventador ‘S’ (current)

I think that’s the lot – but note I have had various repeat purchases of the models listed.

My conclusion after all this excess would be that basically… they get you from A to B….sometimes quicker sometimes slower but basic transport is what it’s all about. The more important shit happens once you arrive – like spending time with family or friends.

These things do become an obsession though…. that just …HAS…. to be fulfilled – I’ve had many a sleepless night lying there thinking ….’if only I had the (fill in car name) my life would be complete’.

I can now confirm to everyone that this is…. NOT THE CASE.

The new 911 Turbo may go 0.0001 of a second faster to 60 than the previous model but this will make no difference to anything in your life. The Lamborghini Aventador was a big tick in the box for my car ambitions but in all honesty its a pain in the arse to drive. It’s way tooooo wide its wayyyy toooo fast and it eats petrol like you wouldn’t believe.

I don’t actually think I need to change the way I approach car buying though. I think what’s actually going to happen is that legislation will change the way we can actually drive. So, the whole point of having a ‘supercar’ will be lost. Black boxes and GPS speed traps – we’re all screwed.

The reality can be seen if you ever watch the ‘Grand Tour’ – if this program doesn’t show three dinosaurs coming toward the end of their lives, I don’t know what does.

If in the meantime anybody wants a run out in the Lamborghini BEFORE it becomes illegal to do so – please drop me a line.

Mike C