Recruitment …or is it dating? March 27, 2019

Have you seen the advert where the guy is at a bar sitting with a hippopotamus?

It’s for a dating agency that is saying that their choice of future partner for you – is more selective than ‘other’ agencies and will give you a perfect match (not a hippo)…

I’ve been thinking recently that recruitment companies need to take a bit of a leaf out of this companies book. Recent interviews that I have undertaken have been a total waste of time, yet the word from the ‘agency’ was that these candidates were ‘perfect’ and would be a ‘great fit within the role advertised’.

Reality was a little different.

The first admin applicant told me she was returning to work after spending the ‘payout’ she received from suing her last employer for wrongful dismissal’…

The second applicant told me she was suing a recent temporary employer because she slipped when in the reception area.

The third interview was for the role of receptionist and she had a speech impediment.

The fourth interviewee was so breathless from climbing the stairs that she needed a rest once she had wedged her way into her seat. She then fumbled for a cigarette whilst I pointed to the no smoking sign.

The fifth interview looked hopeful until I told her there was some need for her to dispense with petty cash – when I looked up she was leaving stating… ‘I’m not allowed to deal with money…’

The sixth person didn’t turn up.

The seventh was half an hour late.

The eighth couldn’t speak English.

Each of these interviews required me to be diligent and professional and each had the requisite time spent on them – yet each one was dismissed in my head almost before they had finished sitting down.

Waste of a day.

Waste of their time and a complete waste of mine.

Recruitment agency – bullshit – you’ve just got a list of unemployed people.

Mike C

Plastic grass. March 20, 2019

Plastic grass for some reason seems to be on the increase.

Can I just say – plastic grass, plastic plants, plastic trees, plastic lips, plastic boobs.

Please people…. just say no.

Mike C

Mixed messages…. March 13, 2019

I’ve spent an awful lot of time telling people about the problems associated with Japanese knotweed. This has involved setting up a company to deal with the problem and multiple public presentations and seminars all to raise public awareness.

I have written websites, I’ve written marketing material and I’ve even re-written the environment agency code of practice updates as the INNSA code of practice. Come to think of it I even set up INNSA (The invasive Non-Native Specialists Association) the preferred trade body for competent knotweed companies …

So, as I’ve said – a lot of time telling people about this problem plant.

Some 20 years or so after setting up Japanese Knotweed Solutions Ltd and feeling that the general public were beginning to grasp the issues around invasive non-native species, I last week found myself watching a government revue, a parliamentary committee even – talking down the problems and ‘expert’ stating that the plant is less of an issue than sycamore or buddlejia.

Holy crap.

I could not believe what this ‘industry expert’ was saying.

Talk about mixed messages.

Finally, we have a world where people are not only aware of invasive non-native species but they have been actually doing something about the problems. Finally, we have a world where the profile of problem plants has been raised to a level where people are actually NOTICING.

Then some idiot does a ‘study’ and says – ‘you know what…Japanese knotweed is not a problem…’


What the hell are the general public supposed to think?

What the hell are the developers who have been looking for a ‘get out’ clause to avoid dealing with their problem plants going to think?

They’ve been trying to avoid paying for weed control and for a way out of Japanese knotweed removal …. and low and behold the ‘expert’ serves it up to them on a platter.

Fucking moron.

I give up.

Mike C

Driverless roadblocks. March 6, 2019

I was out and about last week driving over Snake Pass heading for Sheffield. I was going a reasonable pace – I know the road pretty well and the conditions were excellent for a fairly speedy journey.

Coming around a corner on one of the trickier sections I discovered pretty much stationary traffic. I say ‘stationary’ they were doing about 25/28 mph in a section clearly marked as 50 mph. There was a huge queue of cars all jostling along at this ridiculously slow speed trying to pass the front running car that was causing all the chaos.

The result of this slow-moving vehicle was NOT – safe driving.

The result was a series of near misses and near death for the drivers of the cars trying to make progress.

The car in front was being driven (I use the word ‘driven’ sarcastically) by an elderly lady who had absolutely no idea about other road users. She could barely see over the steering wheel and seemed more intent on caring for her poodle which was bouncing about on her knee.

Now we all know these things happen.

We also know that most road deaths are caused by driving too fast.

We also know that driverless cars are on the horizon.

Sooooo …….in a blinding flash of understanding – I realised what is going on.

Driverless cars are simply going to be used to slow us all down!!!!!!

Fucking driverless roadblocks coming your way in the near future…. get used to it folks …. you heard it here first.

Mike C