Black Friday. November 28, 2018

Japanese Knotweed Solutions had a ‘Black Friday’ last week.

Our offices are in Radcliffe, North Manchester – at this time of year every Friday is a Black Friday.

It’s cold it’s bloody miserable and the sky is black as night.

We didn’t cut our prices though, that would be just stupid and a bit of an insult to the rest of our customers who pay our reasonable costs during the rest of the year.

Mike C

Men. November 21, 2018

I have a growing suspicion that ‘men’ are to be phased out in the near future. Men are no longer the dominant partner in relationships and are in fact consigned to menial jobs around the house such as bin emptying and spider removal.

We read that sperm is no longer required in the process of reproduction and that women can conceive without the need for candlelight and roses.

In the job market women are paid more than men and are so revered that nobody speaks to them in fear of falling into the #metoo trap.

Personally, I’m terrified of being alone with any woman as I know something stupid and sexist will come out of my mouth if given a prolonged period of ‘one to one’ conversation.

So, I avoid it.

I avoid women because I’m scared.

Where did it all go wrong??

I think it was when somebody decided that equality wasn’t the answer. They decided that instead of equality – women should jump straight to…. superiority.

For me this first came to light in advertising. We men all know it’s wrong to leer at women and shout out to our mates to all come and leer as well. We ignorant males know this – so why don’t the women in the Diet Coke adverts know this as well???

Why is it the lady in the Malteser advert thinks it’s ok to raise her top and flash her boobs – when again we men know that this is wrong.

Greek yoghurt advertisers think it’s ok to have women eating their product from a group of scantily clad hunky men – when if the roles were reversed, the company would be ceasing trading from the barrage of complaints they would get.

Push up bras have been binned in favour of push up y-fronts… (I do quite like mine …;-)….)

Men have stopped going to lap dancing clubs because they’ve been vilified for this behavior ….but its ok for women to scream and throw themselves at the male dancers on ‘Magic Mike XXL’….this is deemed acceptable….duuuh explain please.

So, all in all the future is pretty bleak for the male species.

No wonder there’s so many people going gender neutral – they’re all hedging their bets.

Mike C

Quantity Surveyors November 14, 2018

I found myself thinking the other day about what the interview process must be for Quantity Surveyors??

Q1. Are you a twat?

Q2. Do you have a copy of the landscape pricing book for 1982?

Q3. Do you believe that 2 + 2 = 3?

Q4. Do you think that payment terms of 120 days after month end are reasonable?

Answer yes to all of the above – you’re in.

Mike C

Note – only joking guys.

Personality types… November 7, 2018

The team at Japanese Knotweed Solutions are a real mix of characters. Different ages, different skills, different educational background, different family commitments – yet all have something that made them stand out from the crowd. Something that at interview stage made them unique and better than the other applicants and get offered the job.

I’m no expert in personality types nor am I qualified in psychology yet I seem to be able to spot those people that want to work, from those that don’t.

Some people ‘live to work’.

Some people ‘work to live’.

There’s room for both these personality types in a business but you must ensure that the roles that they are given match their performance capabilities.

There’s no point putting somebody who ‘works to live’ in a creative customer focused role as they simply won’t put in the extra time needed to land the sale. These types want to start at 9 and finish at 5. They don’t want last minute problems that require additional hours.

To win work you’ve got to have people who work late, arrive early, put in the hours until the job gets the green light. They’ve got to want that buzz that you get from achieving a target and hitting the bonus levels.

Also there’s no point putting somebody who ‘lives to work’ in a repetitive administration role. These jobs require a level of detail and diligence that the arty types just can never master. When your business is doing repeat works in similar locations you’ve got to have people with brains that like detail and enjoy a good spreadsheet. They like to work a shift but like to finish the shift when they expect it to finish (5pm).

Both are equally important and both are vital to running a thriving business.

Just don’t get the personality types confused ….

Mike C