Clients… July 31, 2017

Clients eh? …who’d have em??
I …of course… am joking, where would I be without my wonderful clients.

Just once or twice though, I do think …. ‘bloody hell – this guy is a pain in the arse’…

Japanese knotweed is a difficult plant to get rid of…OK… so we all understand this …that’s why companies like Japanese Knotweed Solutions exist.

It’s difficult to kill with chemicals and can take years of spraying to fully eradicate. It grows from the tiniest of fragments and has an incredible rate of growth. It also survives in the most unfavorable conditions and can grow on almost any type of soil…

So, when a site gets a little bit of ‘re-growth’…. why do certain clients get so bolshie about it…?

Your site is warrantied, your site is covered by every type of paperwork available. It’s insurance backed its checked and logged and re-visited regularly…. that’s why we do what we do…that’s why you pay us to go back and check…

…we go back, we check and then we eradicate.

Yet we have people that refuse to pay us… because there has been a minor issue.

We have people that say – ‘your told us you would remove all of the Japanese knotweed from our site but there are two suspicious red shoots in the far corner of the site* (nowhere near the area that we excavated)’…I’m withholding 50K quid… until there is never any re-growth ever again….

This is a little like buying a car, but not paying for it, the seller tells you that the brakes might squeak in the first 10,000 miles or so…

…. you then drive off in the car and say…. ‘ooo the brakes are a bit squeaky’… I’m not paying you until they don’t squeak anymore…

Is it me or is this just a little unreasonable.

Sorry clients most of you are more than reasonable and most of you pay your bills on time – but just occasionally (you know who you are) … you try my patience.

:-/

Mike C

Wimbledon July 19, 2017

I’ve spent most of my life playing sport of various types but never been a big fan of watching anything. I’d always rather be out – too busy actually playing the sport to have time to watch others doing what I could be doing.

This is except of course for… Wimbledon.

When I was growing up, the Wimbledon fortnight in our house was actually close to a religious experience.

It was the only time that mother and father were actually rude to anyone. If a caller came round they were ignored – if someone rang on the telephone – the phone remained unanswered. And if…. heaven forbid anyone in the family spoke during finals day…they would be sent to their room and forbidden from watching the game.

So imagine my pleasure when finally I got an invite to come and watch the tennis with free tickets to men’s semi- finals day.’

Mother and father had been some thirty odd years ago …but only to some peripheral court to see first round matches with nobody particularly famous.

I was going to see Federer.

Yes Federer. Roger Federer.

….or ‘God’ as he also known.

I cannot speak too highly of the whole day – it was just an amazing experience. Everyone involved was courteous and helpful, queues were non-existent, the crowd were well behaved and the tennis was sublime.

Roger Federer was in a class of his own – a class called ‘Masterclass’ and it was an honour to be able to say I was there and saw him play. It is something that I just won’t ever forget. The abiding memory of the day won’t be the tennis though… but will be the whole occasion from arrival to departure …just drinking in the history of the place – very special.

When we British do something like this, we do it really, really well and we should all be proud of our heritage of such sporting events. it’s opened my eyes to the excitement of ‘real’ sport and watching ‘live’ action.

No more Sky TV for me – I’m going to start getting out and about to events around the country and enjoying this sort of occasion whilst I still can.

Mike C

I’ve spent most of my life playing sport of various types but never been a big fan of watching anything. I’d always rather be out – too busy actually playing the sport to have time to watch others doing what I could be doing.
This is except of course for… Wimbledon.
When I was growing up, the Wimbledon fortnight in our house was actually close to a religious experience.
It was the only time that mother and father were actually rude to anyone. If a caller came round they were ignored – if someone rang on the telephone – the phone remained unanswered. And if…. heaven forbid anyone in the family spoke during finals day…they would be sent to their room and forbidden from watching the game.
So imagine my pleasure when finally I got an invite to come and watch the tennis with free tickets to men’s semi- finals day.’
Mother and father had been some thirty odd years ago …but only to some peripheral court to see first round matches with nobody particularly famous.
I was going to see Federer.
Yes Federer. Roger Federer.
….or ‘God’ as he also known.
I cannot speak too highly of the whole day – it was just an amazing experience. Everyone involved was courteous and helpful, queues were non-existent, the crowd were well behaved and the tennis was sublime.
Roger Federer was in a class of his own – a class called ‘Masterclass’ and it was an honour to be able to say I was there and saw him play. It is something that I just won’t ever forget. The abiding memory of the day won’t be the tennis though… but will be the whole occasion from arrival to departure …just drinking in the history of the place – very special.
When we British do something like this, we do it really, really well and we should all be proud of our heritage of such sporting events. it’s opened my eyes to the excitement of ‘real’ sport and watching ‘live’ action.
No more Sky TV for me – I’m going to start getting out and about to events around the country and enjoying this sort of occasion whilst I still can.

Mike C

Tell us what you want!! July 19, 2017

It’s that time of year when we are throwing around ideas for our next annual seminar.

Last year’s event, ‘Apocalypse Now’ was a great success, with speakers Michaela Strachan, Mark Avery, John Lewis Stemple and Dick Shaw to name but a few. Entertainment was in the form of a Surf Simulator (what else?!) for those into their extreme sports!

Each year, we aim to step it up a gear and we love to make each year different from the previous year.

Please help us tailor our next annual JKSL event to suit you. Click here to select your preferences……

Where are the Wild Bits…? July 19, 2017

I was out fishing on my local river the other night, this is for private river members only – no footpath no public access – and I felt pretty much at one with nature.

Beautiful river, mature trees, native shrubs and flora and fauna of the highest order.

Orchids ramble down towards the water’s edge whilst otters have been spotted frolicking on the waters side.

There were mayfly and all sorts of flying insects, there were swallows swooping to catch the fly’s trapped on the water and there were trout sucking these insect in, lazily feeding and making the most of nature’s bounty.

I was casting toward a lovely trout when my eye was caught by some debris in the bottom of the river – just a coke can, bobbing downstream. As I looked closer at the river bed I began to see all sorts of detritus – an old tyre, bottles, tin lid etc. etc. It just made me stop and think about how ‘natural’ the river was – and what is actually ‘wild’ – versus what is just left over after man has used up all the local resources?

I had been fishing quite happily in a beautiful part of the countryside – which i am lucky enough to call home. It is a stunning little village right off a picture postcard – roses climbing over door frames, orchards full of fruit and walkers almost queuing to wander along the public rights of way.

What I tend to forget though is that this is actually an old lead mining village. If you ever get chance to see the old lithographs of what Alport used to look like…. you would be amazed. Smoke, grime, polluted river – basically a heavy industry being ripped out of the bowels of the ground. Mine shafts sinking into the side of the hills, drains built that divert the water away from the river – and wagon loads of lead being slowly dragged around by knackered looking horses on their last legs.

Not the idyllic looking place that it is now.

It makes you realise how clever ‘nature’ is – ‘rewilding’ areas that you would never have considered possible and making new habitats out of poisoned and polluted areas.

There are still mounds down by the river which I’m pretty sure if they were excavated would contain toxic levels of lead and probably arsenic. Yet covering these same mounds are plants which are native and rare – thriving on ground which nothing else will grow….

We need to have a re-think about where our wild and natural areas will survive as we go forward. It’s not going to be the obvious areas that we might immediately think of. As the world gets busier it will be the areas that humans cannot easily get to that will begin to fill with the more interesting vegetation, animals and insects.

Motorway verges, railway lines, powers stations, river corridors with limited access, hedgerows – these will be our wild life havens….provided of course that we don’t let them fill with invasive non-native species.

The Japanese Knotweed Business… July 19, 2017

I am old, I am not wise….but I am old.

Being old gives you many things including aching knees, a dodgy back and hair in places that shouldn’t really be sprouting hair. It also gives you some insight as to how the world works – I think this may be called … ‘experience’…

Let me give you some of this knowledge that I have gleaned.

When I was in the sixth form at school looking for a subject to study at University my stance was finding something that would be in demand. Something that nobody else was doing that would be rare and unusual and therefore guarantee me getting a good job. My brother was training to be a town planner and he suggested that there was a shortage of landscape architects …sounded good to me – so this was my choice.

Unfortunately, everybody else was also aware of the shortage in this area of design, so by the time I had qualified …there was a glut of landscape architects and 20 applicants for every job going…  🙁

Hmmm – I needed to be different. I needed an angle???

Design and Build – this could be the answer.

So, I set up a Design and Build practice providing a service whereby we would provide design drawings, liaise with planners then (once approved) actually build the desired project – all for a fixed price lump sum fee.

This worked well for several years – I had a great business and a niche market that few others could compete with. Then the market suddenly became aware of how successful we were being and others started to offer the ‘same’ service.

The problem was that they weren’t ‘the same’ and were basically offering a cheap, cut price version of what we were doing.

I clearly remember losing a major project over a central avenue of trees. Trees are trees – right?? Well no, actually trees come in a multitude of sizes and a huge range of cost. you can buy a tree that is 300mm high, you can buy a tree that is 600mm high….or …you can buy a tree that is semi-mature and has a huge root ball 6 feet across.

My particular client wanted an impressive avenue of trees to the entrance of his new development so we priced the works on semi-mature fastigiate hornbeam (Carpinus betulus ‘fastigiata’). All good – but – then I received a fax (it was a few years ago) saying we had been replaced on the project due to cost savings offered by others.

To cut a long boring story short – we had been usurped by a company offering what they called ‘semi mature trees’ – which were in fact ‘heavy standard’ – half the size (and half the price) of what we had promised our client… and nothing like the impressive entrance that he wanted.

He did ring us some time after the opening and apologised saying that he had been duped.

After trying to continue in the Design and Build market I realised that the ‘cheaper’ end of the market was winning all the work.

Hmmmm need new business idea, need to be different, need a new angle???

Whilst working as Landscape architect I had been coming across invasive non-native species and had realised that there was an opportunity for a specialist company in this field so went about setting up Japanese Knotweed Solutions Ltd and Invasive Weed Solutions Ltd.

Again, we have had some fifteen years of successful trading …but…am getting the same vibe that I got when running the design and build practice…we are losing work to con-artists again …and there’s nothing I can do about.

I know how much you need to pay a man to give him a living wage – and i know how much materials cost. So how can competitors be undercutting our prices by such significant margins?? It can only be by cutting corners and not providing the service that they have obligated to provide….

My ‘experience’ tells me not to get into a panic, not to reduce my prices – just keep doing what we’ve been doing. Common sense tells me that companies working for less than cost – simply cannot be in business for long …

So, this is the circle of life that ‘experience’ has provided me with.

Get new business idea.

New business idea flourishes.

New business idea is copied.

New competition within new business idea drives prices down.

New business idea becomes less profitable.

Start new business idea…

Mike C

Marketing…. July 19, 2017

I do like a bit of marketing.

People often say to me ‘your marketing company are a bit off the wall aren’t they??’- well yes – but thats because it’s mainly ideas that I’ve come up with – brought to life by people with apple computers and a sense of style…

What’s it all about I hear you ask?

Well its about getting people talking about Japanese Knotweed Solutions – and by connection – getting people talking about invasive species.

My stance has always been to get people questioning what it is that we do. The vans and adverts that we use aren’t meant to make perfect sense – I just hope that people are interested enough to look at the website and follow up their initial interest.

Hence we have zombies and undead monsters covering our vans – and take off’s from popular films like Cloverfield Lane (has Japanese knotweed) and Mission Impossible (our mission – to prevent cross contamination)….

The loose link if you wish to find one – is the zombie/undead theme that covers much of our artwork. Japanese knotweed buried beneath the ground coming back to haunt you long after you think it’s dead ….

Our latest (ok it’s my latest idea) is taking off famous album covers – classic albums re-worked to include Japanese knotweed –

So far we have:

‘London Calling’ – by The Clash – reworked to become ‘Knotweed Calling’ – with Paul Simonon hitting the emerging knotweed with his guitar in the classic Penny Smith picture.

‘Combat Rock’ – by The Clash – reworked to become ‘Combat knotweed’ – with the railway line in the background on the album cover being encroached by Japanese knotweed

‘Bat out of Hell’ – by Meatloaf – reworked to become ‘Plant out of Hell’ –

‘Wish you were here’ – by Pink Floyd – becomes ‘Wish you weren’t here’ featuring Japanese knotweed being incinerated on the cover along with the man in flames….

You see where I’m going with this…??

‘Definitely maybe’ – Oasis – becomes ‘Definitely knotweed …’

….anybody else got many ideas for the next batch???

Mike C

Getting paid for doing nothing…. July 12, 2017

I’m getting a little sick of hearing stories about people getting paid huge sums of money …. for doing nothing.

Whether it be politicians who are battering the nursing/firefighting/police/army who are asking for pay rises in line with inflation – whilst themselves drawing huge sums in fraudulent expenses.

We have housing companies charging rental incomes in sub-standard dangerous flats whilst using none of the income to improve or make safe the living conditions for the tenants….

We have Wimbledon players who know they are not fit – but if they turn up and manage to play a few games …. they get paid a whopping 35K …. just for turning up. 35 minutes on court… equals…  35 thousand pounds!

People on daft reality programmes getting 50K for being voted most popular by the TV audience. 50 thousand pounds for sitting around on a beach in your underpants and swearing a lot.

An art dealer who is claiming a fee of 14 million for brokering a deal on a painting sold for 210 million. 14 million for a bit of… ‘brokering’. 14 million…. jeez.

What I’m getting at here – is what lesson does this give to the younger generation? I see so many young people that want money, they want fame, they want the cars, the bling, the whole 9 yards …. but they aren’t prepared to work for it.

I know of one young man who made some money by buying and selling trainers on e-bay. He bought them at discounted prices then sold them on at a huge mark up and was doing …’very well thank you…’

All well and good – but then his parents started describing him as the next Richard Branson – using the word… ‘entrepreneur’… and suggesting he would be a ‘millionaire by the time he was thirty’.

I’m all for giving encouragement where it’s due…. but somehow this lad is now convinced that he is a business ‘guru’ and he’s also managed to convince himself that he doesn’t need ‘no education’ because he’s got the ‘gift’….

It’s all come too easy – with no actual work involved – and he’s convinced that he will continue to be a huge success. He’s never actually done any ‘work’ – all he’s done is be a middle man – he hasn’t built anything or come up with a good idea – he’s just been a bit lucky in that he’s living near an outlet that sells cheap trainers.

It’s not exactly rocket science is it…and not exactly a business model that will make millions – it’s just being a market stall holder…. that’s the concept he’s working to.

I often get people who work for me that think they should have a bigger car, more money, extended holidays…. but they don’t want to put the hours of work in to get these perks. I often say to people that the ‘sky’s the limit’ on pay structure with JKSL – if you make me loads of money then I will pay you loads of money…. but on the other hand, if you don’t I won’t….!

I think all these ‘get rich quick’ – schemes that we see on TV will only make us weaker as a society

Kids need to brought back to reality – not reality TV – they need to be thought that hard work gains reward and sitting around on your ass will get you nothing but a fat ass.

Mike C

Money – The Rhizome of all Evil July 5, 2017

As you get older you begin to realise that money causes significant problems, whether it be lack of it …or surplus cash …there’s always a catch.

As a child, I tried hard to save my pocket money to buy an air rifle at the local sports shop. I scrimped and saved and did all sorts of odd jobs to raise the 30 quid that the sports shop were asking – and six months of hard graft saw me reach my target. My mother however didn’t want me to have an air rifle and being impressed by my ability to save – persuaded me to invest my money in a post office savings account.

Duuh…. what the hell type of fun is that? She told me that I could watch my investment grow. Watch it grow… watch it f**king grow?? … jeez … I wanted to be out shooting things and watching them die….

As a university student, I decided that careful money management would be the way forward. With my 3 year and 5 year plan mapped out ahead of me I headed off to my bedsit accommodation living in my 12 pound a week room, with metered electricity and my budget food allowance allowing potatoes and rice and beans as my staple diet…. I managed to scrape through with a 2:1 Degree and little or no debt.

Nowadays – I see students taking on huge loans and living the high life of drink, drugs, sex, full body piercing and tattoos – a life of total hedonism with absolutely no intention of ever repaying the money they’ve borrowed – and coming away with no qualifications whatsoever.

As a business owner, my ambitions were based around having a company that was making profit and smashing all targets out of the water. My first year in business saw me hitting these targets, this motivated me to exceed in every aspect of the company growth pushing to be the best of the best.

This is all well and good until the first of the tax bills start to roll in.

You’ve made ‘x’ amount of profits so HMRC want a slice of the action – and they want it on the day its due – and they don’t want any excuses. It is at this moment when you are talking to some dim witted, jobsworth asshole from the inland revenue who tells you that the government will… ‘wind your company up’ – if you don’t pay the tax due – that you begin to realise that making profits…. may also have a down side.

Whilst on paper you may be making nice chunks of money the actual bank balance shows very little improvement from the days that you were living on rice and beans…. but you have a 150K tax bill.

How did that happen…???

The other thing you notice as you get older is that once you have a few quid in your bank account, everybody you meet wants to take some of it off you.

My mother seems to have this sussed – no matter what the occasion, no matter what the event, she never pays – yet somehow manages to retain a dignity which suggests that she could have forked out…but it was somehow beneath her to do so when one of her sons is nearby. I think she may actually be the queen – (note: the queen never carries cash as it is beneath her).

My wife seems also to have this similarly sussed – she never carries cash and always gets 20 quid notes off me for when we have a cup of tea or cake when we’re out – then she keeps the change. By the end of the week she invariably has more money than me.

My kids also finances completely sorted – Meg just looks at me with her big beautiful eyes and says ‘dad…. I need some money..’ …and my wallet just opens automatically. The eldest daughter has an ‘arrangement’ that covers when Meg gets money – Jamie gets an equal payout – so she’s rolling in cash most of the time ….

Maybe just maybe when I’m old and unable to look after everybody then somebody will look after me?? I just can’t quite figure out who it will be….

Mind you my mother will probably out-live me – so maybe some sort of payback is due…?

If only she could remember her PIN number ….and get the bats to move out of her wallet??

Mike C